A family tie

As time goes on, I begin to realise, that my family tree retracts from what should be a paradise. I see that our ties disintegrate, into a form of dysfunction and destruction that can only frustrate, a being like me who only adores the concept of family: a nesting of bloodline connection which links to an undying affection which can never be seized by any anarchist needs to separate what is meant to be the family that i desperately need. But In the company of time and the passing of the seasons we are all falling away for similar reasons. The moments around the table at christmas time, and bubbles of genetic laughter have had their time and shared their light, now its over and set alight. The ties that were meant to be unconditional, are crashing and burning at the devil's yearning. And the concept of family is backsliding as my family is dividing. While they say "time will heal", I just pray to my God that he brings a repeal, of all the things that have come and poisoned; and caused me, all of us to internally bleed every frustrating day, while we smile on with nothing to say. As if everything is ok, when really we just want it all to just fix its self right now, today. I miss my family who are now so distant; I miss those real special moments that are now only reminiscent. I miss not worrying about how we are all trying to cope, but thats what it has become since whatever has happened cannot be undone. All I do is wish for a solution to all this heart wrenching confusion. But until then I can only look to the heavens further than the skies, to shield me from my pain and continuos need to cry; for this family tie that has been left undone anticipating a way to loop into another one.